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Notes from Elsewhere

By April 12, 1999 No Comments

Bread Shock!

Our colleagues at The Freedom Association in Britain included the following in the April 1999 edition of Freedom Today. We couldn’t resist. …

A series of alarming facts have been revealed during research by a TF A member whose identity is being kept secret in case he is sued for not releasing the information earlier.

On no account, he suggests, should the following be shown to journalists, politicians or civil servants. Journalists, he points out, would create widespread terror by printing and broadcasting the story, possibly causing attacks on bakers. Politicians would be likely to ban bread and civil servants would set up a Bread Inspection Agency.

The facts

  • More than 98 per cent of convicted felons are bread users.
  • Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
  • In the 18th Century, when nearly all bread was baked in the home, average life expectancy was less than 50 years, infant mortality rates were unacceptably high, many women died in childbirth and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
  • More than 90 per cent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
  • Bread is made of a substance called “dough”. It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
  • Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease and osteoporosis.
  • Bread has proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water begged for bread after as little as two days. Bread is often a ‘gateway’ food item, leading the user to ‘harder’ foods such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold meats.
  • New born babies can choke on bread.
  • Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! This kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
  • Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In the light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

  • No sale of bread to minors.
  • A nationwide ‘Just Say No to Toast’ campaign complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
  • A 300 per cent tax on bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
  • No animals or human images, nor any primary colours (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread.
  • The establishment of bread-free zones around schools.

 

The Legacy of Communism

Our Swedish sister organization, DEST A, tells us of their April Seminar on the Crimes of Communism. The Stockholm seminar was organized to mark the publication of Le Livre Noire du Communism, a just released book written by Stephane Courtois on the many atrocities that can be blamed on this creed. The book is being translated into several languages and may be available in Canada by this summer.

The Swedes are also establishing a foundation to educate their citizens on the real legacy of Communism and on Communist crimes against humanity. The Stockholm City Council has already agreed to start an educational program on this in the capital’s schools.

For years, Neo-Nazis have (deservedly) been scorned and hated for willingly embracing fascism. Marxists have, because of their ability to selectively forget history, never paid the penalty for adopting a creed that has murdered tens of millions. With luck, this state of affairs will not continue for much longer.